Bright Bean Burger!

At this past Zenkaikon, I was volunteered to create a culinary treasure, a novel gastronomic gem, a delight that until now has been imagined, but not achieved. At the Chronicles of Bright Noa panel (I was not one of the panelists, I was told later when I was also informed that I have been enlisted to create this marvel) a intense discussion took place about the kind of burger that Bright Noa would eat. Apparently, the discussion was inspired by this picture.

Bright Bean Burger
The picture that started it all

The result of the discussion was that Bright Noa was too upstanding and also somewhat stodgy and would undoubtedly be eating a bean burger instead of a meat burger. The result? The conception of the  Bright Bean Burger!

I embarked upon this mission with the utmost zeal. The first idea was to think about the kind of person Bright Noa is, the characteristics he exhibits that would tell me how he would create this burger. (Based on the fact that he eventually opens a restaurant, I am going to operate on the idea that he would be cooking this burger as well as eating it.) Bright Noa would start from scratch and everything would be from the most basic form for this burger. After multiple tries I devised a recipe and burger that I believe Bright Noa would actually eat. My poor victims had to eat all of my false attempts until the ultimate Bright Bean Burger was spawned.

As mentioned, I started from scratch-dried beans. Realistically growing my own wasn’t an option and I couldn’t find hydroponically grown beans either, although, honestly I didn’t try as hard as I could.  

Instead of soaking beans I like to cook them in a slow cooker

Bright Bean Burger
Beans in the crockpot

because it has a great result with less work.  Then I mashed them all. Yum! Mashed gooky beans.

Bright Bean Burger
The beans all mashed and ooky

Once they’re all mashed, put in some finely chopped onion, horseradish, a little shoyu, and some ginger.

Bright Bean Burger
Shoyu=soy sauce

I always just season to taste, but I would be sparing on the shoyu or the beans will be very wet. If this does happen, just add a little bit of panko breadcrumbs. Form the patties now that  you have a good consistency where the beans will stay however you form them.  I made about 7 burgers, they should be roughly the size of your hand. If you are used to making meat-based burgers you should know that the Bright Bean Burgers will not shrink when you cook them the way a hamburger or turkey burger will.
Since the patties are formed, put them on a grill or a skillet with a little garlic. Okay, a lot of garlic. While the patties cook, get the buns ready. I felt that a slightly fun roll would be nice, so mine went on potato rolls.

Bright Bean Burger
Mmm Cheese on a potato roll

You could also do standard hamburger buns. Based on the picture these burgers will need lettuce and I added spicy sauce and a little ketchup. CAM00127 (1)Hopefully, the burgers are now heated all the way through and you have a nice firm patty, so take it and place it on the bun. This felt insufficient to me and a popular burger topping internationally is a fried egg, so I fried eggs sunny side up and placed them on the burger.A completed Bright Bean Burger. Magnifique!


All that’s left is to eat them and enjoy the Gundam-y deliciousness.   

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